when you say “bless you” to someone before they actually sneeze
I HAVE THREE WORDS THAT WILL BRING JOY TO YOUR HEART:
little league quidditch
#all brooms fly like 3 feet off the ground#the bludgers are stuffed animals#keepers often get distracted by clouds#the seekers are better at playing tag than catching the snitch#games are over when it’s naptime
I have never read something so precious in my life.
a continuation of this.
MISS OFFICER AND MR TRUFFLES coming soon this Summer maybe not.
when youre googling your homework assignment and you find a website with all of the answers
'girls don't have to clear their internet history'
let me explain you a thing
Because we don’t watch porn. We read it.
And our minds are our 1080p HD full screens.
I hate those kind of days.
TELL ME THAT SCHOOL ISN’T HARD
I KNOW YOU’RE GROWN UP
I KNOW YOU ARE MY PARENT
I KNOW YOU’VE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH THIS PART OF LIFE
BUT SCHOOL HAS GOTTEN HARDER
AND TEACHERS ARE UNFAIR TO ME AND ASSIGN TOO MUCH
AND THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN I AM TIRED
I CANNOT DO WORK
I CANNOT SUCCEED ON A TEST
I CANNOT FUNCTION
I am drunk on my front porch and I think a lizard went into my shirt but whatever man have fun in there
when did I post this
Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.
WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!